We pitted Emma the challenge of imagining herself as a future Jersey homeowner, hunting for the best places on the potential property ladder she’d climb if she were to settle in Jersey.
Islander. What a magazine. Always there for you when you need it. I’d left my beach reading material at home, and there it was in El Tico, pages blowing seductively in the breeze. I’d gone for lunch with Cosmo, who also lives with his parents, and we decided to entertain the fantasy where we bought a house and moved in together. The illusion shattered when we realised how incredibly expensive houses are, wondering how anyone manages to buy one when you have to pay for 20% of it upfront.
We worked out that if we both spent absolutely no money at all for a year, we could afford the extortionate deposit on a 0 bed, 1 bath, 0 parking apartment. We decided that whilst we do love spending time together, kipping top and tail in a bathtub every night wouldn’t be much fun. Marginally better was a 0 bed, 1 bath, 1 parking apartment, which means we could pitch a tent in our parking space and take it in turns to sleep indoors. Another option would be to convince four other friends to live in a set of stables, with private box-bedrooms and a tack room as a lounge. Whilst this idea seems the most fun on paper, in actuality it probably wouldn’t smell too great.
With the first rung of the property ladder six feet above our heads, I went onto the Places website to find realistic properties for your average buyer. The budget was set at £225k per earner, based off the mortgage you can get on the average salary in Jersey (£40k). Even with two earners, there was only one affordable house that wasn’t a renovation project. I must say that this property had quite a remarkable bookshelf.
The dismal scene made me cave and look at the four bedroom houses many aspire to own one day. In Jersey these currently average out at £1.3 million, meaning I’d have to become a successful entrepreneur or sell my soul to finance to own one. The latter makes the stables look a lot less shabby.
First on the ladder
The best apartment I could find within budget for one earner was on Clarendon Road in St Helier. It’s a spacious one bedroom apartment, where your bed, kitchen and toilet live in completely separate rooms. When you’re not cooking, your kitchen embarks on a magical metamorphosis, becoming a carpeted lounge complete with an artistic fireplace. There’s a couple of really nice Victorian windows, which are framed by imperial blue curtains that compliment the tones in the room. The ceilings are high, giving the illusion of more space, and it appears to get a good amount of natural light. In my opinion the bedroom is the perfect size – but bear in mind that I can’t sleep in large open spaces and I liked my shoebox room in Hong Kong (it just felt so safe). The bathroom has a bath that’s also a shower, which could also be a spare bed if you adopt the right perspective. It is an excellent multi-functional room, albeit with a slightly feeble looking shower head. Upgrading this would be the first renovation I’d make. If the pressure isn’t so strong it almost hurts, I don’t want it.
Unfortunately, Cosmo couldn’t live with me in this apartment. Or, he could, but he’d have to sleep on the sofa or in the bath. However, seeing as the majority of properties within this budget are apartments in St Helier, he’d never be too far away anyway. He could come for a spontaneous BBQ whenever he liked, in the large sunny communal garden Clarendon Road has to offer.
Clarendon Road, St Helier
£225,000
Marketed by Le Rossignol Estates
places.je code : 48516
Buying together
If Cosmo and I were to buy together, this is the one I would choose for us. It’s a hidden gem on the quiet street of Aquila Road, with two bedrooms, one bathroom and separate rooms for the lounge and kitchen. The apartment comes fully furnished, which is a bit of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it looses a bit of the personal touch. On the other hand, it means we won’t be eating dinner off a cardboard box whilst we wait for a nice table to pop up on Facebook marketplace.
The interior design is packed with character, without compromising on functionality. There is plenty of seating for guests, and the king size beds offer maximum starfish potential. With two bedrooms, this property allows couples to have a spare room they can do whatever they want with. Fill it with a child, or if you’re not quite there yet, your frequently unemployed friend.
Aquila Road, St Helier
£429,000
Marketed by Troys
places.je code : 48993
Thinking ahead
If we were ever going to buy a four bedroom family house (we wouldn’t, Cosmo’s gay) it would be Vallambrosa. It is a converted 1600’s home in St Peter, right next door to my coveted homeland – St Ouen. In addition to the four bedrooms, it has two bathrooms, a kitchen with a vaulted ceiling and front and rear enclosed gardens. It’s an upside down house, which keeps things interesting, and one of the bedrooms even has a reading window. It looks so cosy that I’d be tempted to take this room and give my kid the master bedroom. However, I don’t think my future partner would be happy trading an en suite for a nook in the wall.
In terms of living spaces, there’s a great outdoor patio that would be the perfect setting for a BBQ with family-friends. In the winter, you could have people over indoors, in a gorgeous spacious lounge. The exposed granite wall makes it feel like a Jersey-home, and the vintage-looking wood burner adds further character to the room. Providing I’ve learnt to cook by this point, I could see myself in the kitchen, hopefully making Jamie Oliver proud. With the wide doors leading outside, I’d probably end up eating every meal al fresco. It’s just too tempting. Way too easy.
Vallambrosa, Le Vieux Beaumont, St Peter
£1,150,000
Marketed by Indigo
places.je code : 49414
So am I selling my soul to finance? It’s hard to say – I don’t know what I’ll be like in ten years. For now I’m happy with where I am, free from the cell of an excel spreadsheet. Besides, what are Cosmo and I going to do with a big house? Host a soirée? Fill bedrooms with sofa-surfers and hitchhikers? I don’t think so. I like small spaces, anyway.
