I?m fast approaching my 30th birthday and the only thing I?m really stressing about is the fact I haven?t found the perfect dress for my party. Whilst searching for the perfect dress in various monthly magazines, I?m looking at pictures of Kylie Minogue thinking how much better she looks now than she did 20 years ago and as I book my flights to go and see Take That in the summer I?m thinking they too look a hell of a lot hotter these days too! Loose Women is on in the background (by default by the way not because I actually want to watch it) and they are talking about women becoming mums at a certain age. Is it right? Is it wrong? And do the same judgements apply to men becoming fathers? (Don?t be silly now!
This got me thinking, should we still be following a set of rules for what we should have, should be or could be doing at a certain age? I think that too often we can let age define us and often we think about what we haven?t got, what we can?t do at the age we are and it holds us back or we feel like we haven?t achieved what we should have by a certain age.
You know, I spent my early 20s thinking I was too old to get back into the dance industry, I just flat out ruled it out and I was only 21! So I spent the following two years thinking about dancing and how sad it was that I would never ever dance again and how my soul would fade in a movement-less existence (did I mention I was also slightly more dramatic in those days?). In 2004 I went to my first dance class in a long time fearing I was too old and too rubbish at 23, and since that fateful day I have not stopped dancing… I wasted 2 long years thinking about dancing and how it would fulfil me so much when I could have just been doing it!
The world is different now, being 50 is fabulous. My mum has been running marathons and she started running them when she was… yep, you guessed it, 50! Kylie at 42 is a bombshell! A successful pop star, a survivor and a dignified lady. Who says you can?t be a pop star after 25?or wear spiky silver Christian Louboutins!
And the same goes for my beloved Take That, either in their forties or fast approaching, those guys have got better with age, two of them are still break dancing and if it wasn?t weird I?d still have posters up in my room of them. So any guys reading this you can look forward to becoming the hot older guy…or member of your own man band!
Then there?s me… almost 30. I remember as a teenager I said I?d be married by 22 have my first child at 25 and then my second at 27 and by the time I was 30 I?d have my own house with a garden and a shed for my kids? bikes… The thing is, I didn?t know as a teenager what it was like to be those ages or the other opportunities that would be available to me during those years. I?m not saying I don?t want those things ever, I still very much do, but it?s just not going to happen exactly how I imagined it. And that actually makes it all a bit more exciting.
Many of us still hold onto the plans we made when we were 16 or the ideals of where we thought we?d be by now, rather than thinking of all the things in life we didn?t expect to happen – the travelling, the careers and businesses we?ve built and the fun-filled frolics of being young, free and single (or not so in some cases). You can?t fail at things you can?t plan.
So today forget about your age. Think about what you have achieved, the fun you are having now, the misery you missed out on because you didn?t marry the wrong guy and the possibilities that are available to you now and where it could all lead to. You are not a typical 20, 30, 40, 50 year old…you are you and fabulous and you are able to have and be whatever you want. Don?t let your age hold you back, your dreams belong to you, not how old you are.
Signing off, Nikki (almost 30)
